Examples of autistic internalized ableism: “There’s something fundamentally wrong with me.” “I have to push myself.” “I make problems for others. I’m difficult to be around. I’m a burden.” “I need to mask, or hide who I am, or not honestly tell people when I have a problem, to be acceptable and keep people around.” “Other people manage, and they’ve got a lot more to deal with, so I must be weak, fragile, lazy, or not trying hard enough.” “It’s just me that has a problem with this. So I have to either suppress my needs or be a bother to others.” “I have to make myself small so I won’t drive people away.” “I have to hide what I know to not annoy people.”
I hear these sentiments a lot from Autistics, and they can feel really true, and they might be close to the truth, or have some truth in them, but they’re not entirely true. And I used to believe every one of them. But not anymore. Because I’ve deconstructed the lies, and have actually experienced what it’s like to live without these getting in the way.
These lies, and others like them, are called internalized ableism. And they are how people in power, people who have it easy because the world is designed for them, keep us blaming ourselves instead of seeing how the system is flawed, because if enough of us did, we would demand changes.
Like, better working conditions, and education, public spaces, health care and mental care that responds to our needs. Or little things, like more understanding for direct communication styles. What could be possible for you if ableism didn’t get in the way?
Bringing this a little closer to home, what could you do if internalized ableism didn’t get in the way?
I mean, what if you stopped blaming yourself for things that aren’t actually your fault? What if you stopped pushing yourself so hard, getting on your own case, denying yourself accommodations, discriminating against yourself in ways that have been so normalized you don’t even notice you’re doing it?
What if you could see all the ways you’ve been trained not to notice the ableism embedded in our systems—and in your own thoughts about yourself?
THE PROBLEM
Here’s the thing. Internalized ableism is a huge factor in negative self-talk and autistic burnout. But it’s so normalized in our culture that of course you should take the blame, and push yourself, and get on your own case for things that you don’t actually need to.
Maybe you tell yourself you should be able to do more. Maybe you push through sensory overload because “everyone else deals with it.” Maybe you feel like your needs are too much, or that asking for accommodations is making excuses. Maybe you’re harder on yourself than you’d ever be on anyone else.
And the thing is, you’ve been trained to do that. The ableism isn’t your fault—but it is affecting you in ways you might not even realize.
THE WORKSHOP
That’s why I created the Internalized Ableism Workshop and Self-Assessment. This is a two-and-a-half hour recorded workshop, available to you right now, on demand.
This workshop is designed to help you spot internalized ableism in the context of an adult Autistic or AuDHD life. How it’s so pervasive in our society that it’s affecting you in ways you’ve been trained not to notice. Ways that you may be discriminating against yourself, and giving yourself a harder time than you really need to. And understand where this is coming from so you don’t just give yourself the blame, when it doesn’t belong to you.
Plus, I’ve created an in-depth 120-question self-assessment with real examples from real life, so you can see how much this is affecting your daily life and choices, in 14 different areas of life, from your autistic identity, to work, communication, productivity, self-worth, your relationship to autistic stereotypes, and more. I spent over a year working on this, incorporating feedback, refining and fine-tuning it, so you can get a better picture of how you’re doing, how much this is really affecting your life.
Fair warning: it will probably bring up some areas that you hadn’t realized were neuro-ableism, and that might be uncomfortable. But once you notice what’s really going on, you can make intentional choices about if you want to do something about it, and then what.
WHAT’S IN THE WORKSHOP?
Okay, so what is actually covered in this workshop?
1. Clear definitions of ableism and internalized ableism, with real-life examples from an Autistic and AuDHD perspective—not just abstract concepts.
2. How ableism is baked into our society and systems in ways we’ve been trained not to see. The normalized expectations, the cultural assumptions, the “that’s just how things are” that actually aren’t neutral at all.
3. How to spot neuro-ableism in your own life. The patterns of behavior, the self-talk, the normalized expectations that you’ve been carrying around without questioning them.
4. A 4-step process for how to dismantle your own neuro-ableism. Not shame-based, not more demands on yourself, but a framework for how to start undoing this.
5. A comprehensive 120-question self-assessment with various real-life scenarios and generalized patterns of behavior. The kind of thing that might make you think, “Oh yeah, I guess I do do that,” or “Oh, I didn’t realize I did that,” or “Ooh, that’s ableism? Huh.”
6. A foundation for awareness—which is the first step towards making progress. Once you start noticing it, you can choose if you want to take action, and how.
HONEST EXPECTATIONS
Now, I want to be honest with you.
Will this workshop completely eliminate your internalized ableism? No. And I wouldn’t trust any short workshop that makes that promise.
Your ableism probably developed gradually over a long period of time, likely several years or decades. A few explanations and strategies aren’t going to change all of that. That’s not realistic.
But it can make a difference. And add on to what you’ve already been doing.
What I’m offering is a way to think about ableism that doesn’t put the blame or shame on you. That shows how you’ve been trained not to see the ableism embedded in our systems. And offers a framework for how to move towards undoing this.
THE DETAILS
Here’s the details:
This is the recorded version of a live workshop I gave in November of 2025, so you get the video recording, an audio-only version, a complete transcript with slides included, the slides separately, the 120-question self-assessment, and all workshop materials and bonuses.
Because it’s recorded, you have the freedom to follow along at your own pace. Rewind and rewatch as much as needed. Engage on your own schedule, as your energy allows. With no pressure to show up on someone else’s schedule or participate in a live meeting. And you can come back months later for a refresher, or to retake the self-assessment and see how you’ve progressed.
You’ll have access for at least a full year, guaranteed, and probably several years. I don’t want to promise “lifetime access”—whose lifetime, yours or mine?—but I intend to keep this available for the foreseeable future.
This is an inclusive, trauma-sensitive, and BS-free zone. All are welcome, including LGBTQIA+ humans and all gender identities.
And while this is designed from and for an Autistic and AuDHD perspective, if you don’t identify as Autistic, but my approach resonates with you—maybe you’re a highly sensitive person, neurodivergent in other ways, or you’re still questioning whether you’re Autistic—you’re welcome here too.
INVITATION
So, here’s my invitation.
If you’re tired of being so hard on yourself. If you want to understand how much internalized ableism is affecting your life and start doing something about it, this workshop might be a fit for you.
For more info, or to sign up, go to www.AutismChrysalis.com/ia.
Because life is so much easier when you’re not discriminating against yourself. It is okay to have needs. And it is possible to start undoing the ableism you’ve internalized over the years.
If this sounds like what you’re looking for, I’d love to support you along this journey.
Wishing you a neurowonderful day.
The system is flawed, but bottom rung folk don’t get to make many demands…but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have any power!
When we believe the stories of the people in power that we are fundamentally flawed, weak, lazy, not trying hard enough, or inherently annoying and a bother to be around, and then get on our own case through negative self-talk and self-blame, that’s called internalized ableism. It’s taking full blame for problems that are at least partially (if not largely) theirs.
And that’s when they’ve really won, because then they don’t have to continue harping on us—we do it for them.
I, for one, don’t want to do their dirty work for them.
That’s why I made this workshop. Sign up to learn how to stop holding yourself down through lies that aren’t as true as they seem.
Learn how to spot internalized ableism in the context of an adult Autistic/AuDHD life, how it may be affecting you in ways you’ve been trained not to notice, and tips to start dismantling your own neuro-ableism.
Includes an in-depth questionnaire to help you get a sense of how much neuro-ableism is affecting your life. This is information you can use to make better informed choices.
Designed for and from an Autistic/AuDHD perspective.
This on-demand version includes the video recording, audio-only recording, full transcript with slides included, slides separately, and all bonus workshop materials.
Have you encountered the terms “ableism” and “internalized ableism,” and want to finally get a good grasp on what they mean? And how they are affecting your life?
Or have you already been learning about them, but are frustrated at not finding much clear info, and are ready to go deeper?
Do you want to look at this specifically from an Autistic/AuDHD perspective?
That’s what this workshop and self-assessment are for!
In this 2.5 hour workshop, you’ll learn:
Then dive in deeper with a 120-question IA self-asessment designed to help you become more aware of how much neuro-ableism is affecting you.
This on-demand version includes the video recording, audio-only recording, full transcript with slides included, slides, and all workshop materials.
This is a tool to help you find ways where you’ve personally been affected, and where you’ve turned ableist messages back on yourself.
It’s 120 questions, including various real-life scenarios, and some generalized patterns of behavior.
As you go through it, you’ll get a sense of how much ableism is showing up in your life. There might be areas where you think, “Oh, yeah, I guess I do do that,” or “Oh, I didn’t realize I did that,” or “Ooh, that’s ableism? Hunh.” Some of it might feel uncomfortable, while other areas might reveal things you can feel good about.
The idea is to use this as a tool for personal growth, noticing areas of ableism in your life.
Because awareness is the first step towards making progress. Once you start noticing it, you can choose if you want to take action, and how.
Is this the right time for you to get a handle on internalized ableism?
This is the recorded version of the live workshop in November of 2025. So it’s available to you now.
This gives you the freedom to:
• Follow along at your own pace.
• Rewind and re-watch as much as needed.
• Pause to take notes.
• Engage on your own schedule, as your energy allows.
• Not feel pressured to participate in a live meeting.
• Not need to take it all in at once, avoiding overwhelm.
• Reduce demand avoidance of learning on someone else’s schedule.
• Come back months later for a refresher.
This is the recorded version of the live workshop in November of 2025. So it’s available to you now.
This gives you the freedom to:
• Follow along at your own pace.
• Rewind and re-watch as much as needed.
• Pause to take notes.
• Engage on your own schedule, as your energy allows.
• Not feel pressured to participate in a live meeting.
• Not need to take it all in at once, avoiding overwhelm.
• Reduce demand avoidance of learning on someone else’s schedule.
• Come back months later for a refresher.
There are a variety of accommodations built into the course for various learning styles:
This is an inclusive, trauma-sensitive, and BS-free zone.*
ALL are welcome, including cis, trans, nonbinary, a-gender, gender expansive, and other LGBTQIA+ humans.
The language used throughout the course is intentionally gender inclusive.
*The presenter is trauma-informed and trauma-sensitive, but you are the best judge of what you can handle at the moment. Please take care of yourself.
You will have access for at least a full year (and longer if I renew my subscription to the course platform, which is likely).
I don’t want to promise “lifetime access”—(Whose lifetime, yours or mine? Or the lifetime of the website? All of which could be misleading.)—which is why I’m intentionally cautious about promising too much, but it is my intention to keep this available for the foreseeable future.
I want to be realistic, so the honest answer is no. And I wouldn’t trust any short workshop that makes that promise.
Your ableism probably developed gradually over a long period of time, likely several years or decades.
A few explanations and strategies aren’t going to change all of that. But it can make a start. Or add on to what you’re already doing.
I’d like to offer a way to think about ableism that doesn’t put the blame or shame on you, that shows how you’ve been trained not to see the ableism embedded in our systems, and offers a framework for how to start undoing this.
Yes!
The framework and techniques I present aren’t exclusive to Autistic and neurodivergent brains, so if my approach resonates with you, and you’re fine spending time with Autistic adults, feel free to sign up, even if you’re not Autistic (or aren’t sure).
For example, this may also be a good fit for HSPs.
What could you do if internalized ableism didn’t get in the way?
